You must be careful when you ask people whether they’re happy;
it’s a question that can upset them a great deal.
François Lelord
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Life can sometimes seem like a quest to achieve happiness. Certainly that is an underlying goal in Western and Eastern cultures. Many of us say, “Once I find my soul mate, then I’ll be happy” or, “If I get that promotion, then I’ll be happy” or, “Once I’m making this or that income, then I’ll be happy.” Woven within the mere thought itself is a sense of being “less than” you want to be, which therefore makes you less happy than you were before that thought even arrived.
Some might argue that it’s not the conditions of our lives that make us happy (although some can certainly help at times), it’s the way we relate to ourselves and our lives that provide the happiness. It’s the way we walk through life.
In other words, we’re always practicing something. If we spend our time wrestling with negative, excessive worrying, or hopeless thoughts, we’re practicing unhappiness. If we spend our time noticing and acknowledging these unhelpful habits of the mind, without judgment, we can then choose to turn our attention to matters that walk in line with greater happiness and sense of peace.
In the realm of behavioral therapy, a therapist might say, "What would you be doing differently if you were happy?" Some people might answer, “I’d be smiling more” or, “I’d be riding my bike” or, “I’d be spending giving more to others.”
Then the response from the therapist would be: “Now let’s put these into action.”
Sometimes we need to put our feet in front of our heads and then our thoughts and emotions will follow. We don’t have to climb Mount Everest, but if all we can do is take even one step in that direction, it can make a difference.
By Elisha Goldstein, Ph.D.
Glück ist flüchtig, kaum zu fassen. Es tut gut, sich sein zu lassen.
Happiness is fleeting, hard to grasp. It feels good to allow yourself to be.